As an adult, you aren't a lump of clay still being molded into something familiar to this world. By now, whether you know/accept it or not, you are something in particular. What you are has been shaped by the cultures that have dominated your life. Sure, you can change, even though that's hard, but you are something specific becoming more and more of it everyday.
So think about what that is/who you are because you may be lying to yourself regarding what kind of person you are. Don't half-ass it and say "you're trying." BS. If you're gonna be of this world in a broader sense, wanting the nice things, accolades and accomplishments that most people recognize as success, then don't think that complies w/a greater sense of enlightenment, righteousness and spirituality. I don't think it does.
If you're not gonna be on some Gandhi, Mother Theresa-type shit, sure, you may have good intentions much of the time, but really, you're just half-assing it in life. If you're not gonna be on some win-at-all-costs-I-can-afford shit, you're half-assing it and playing yourself by pretending that you have a code and you're about doing the right thing (as far as REAL right and wrong as determined by your GUT and CONSCIENCE goes).
If you buy expensive shit, want the trophy partner, the big crib, are entertained by things that are harmful and don't try YOUR BEST to keep your desires and emotions in check, etc, YOU AREN'T really so great of a person. I don't care how nice you are, how much you've learned, or how much nice shit you do for people.
What I mean is, we know someone that we consider an amazing human being, but it's really a percentile thing - what we really mean is that that person measures nearer to the top on a scale of goodness (that has been curving downward for years) when compared with the other people we know. How good is that person when wearing some expensive shit, that we have no problem with them having because "they worked so hard for it and earned it" (that seems to justify a lotta things), and yet that pricey garment was made at a sweat factory in a third world country with no child labor laws? What was that person's ATTEMPT at being better in that particular circumstance? None. There was no attempt. How about the amazing person you know who gets let off the hook for not-so-good behavior because they are attractive? Or who doesn't recycle purposefully? Or who eats way more, or uses more water than any person needs to, but doesn't do anything to contribute positively to the global hunger/water epidemic?
I probably sound ridiculous to most of you because most of you probably compare yourself and all the people you know to each other, which makes sense. But understand this: you really don't know that many people, I don't care where the hell you've been, no one knows enough people to make a decent personal comparison of one's ranking on the scale that measures contribution towards the greater good. However, you don't need to personally know millions - you have an internal moral compass that sets and resets itself when you learn new things. The best people you know ignore it when it comes to a lot of situations, especially situations no, or few, other human(s) whose opinions are important to them have to know about while it counts.
You probably think I'm nitpicking, holding people accountable for following an impossible standard, but nothing is too small to be ignored. Every wrong needs attention. Yes, murder is worse than not recycling, but in most cases, almost every one, a series of very small wrongs, maybe over a long period of time, perpetrated by a wide range of people in different circumstances, culminated in that murder. Nothing is really random, or doesn't have roots and seeds which go back very far. Conversely, that lack of recycling will add up and eventually will contribute to people making some really drastic decisions at some point regarding the most valuable thing we have in a material life - the Earth; decisions that will make a murder look like a very small thing. This may take centuries to come to pass, but it will happen, it will be important, and it could be preventable or staved off for much longer if we are actually better and not making half-assed attempts at it that we pass along to future generations as sufficient.
It may sound like I'm judging, (which all writers do, get over it and stop acting like "judging" is a horrible thing; it's one of the most human things ever and we all do it all day, relax) and I'm telling you to be a better person, but I'm not. Sort of. I'm saying that if you're working towards being a better person, when will you be satisfied? Better than yesterday is cool but are you willing to go where your gut, your instinct, your conscience, directs you 100% of the time? If not, then 1. you are rationalizing and fearful of really following the greatness inside and 2. shut the fuck up on facebook regarding anything good or bad that anyone does because you're no better, just probably better in some areas. I'm saying that if you want the worldly accomplishments and achievements then you're just like the people you judge every day. The judging, while bad in the greater cosmic sense, is fine in comparison to what everyone else does, but you suck for thinking for a second that you're on more solid moral ground. If you want to dominate in this world, to be seen and heard because you think you should be and want the attention, if you desire to be king/queen, then don't let your pitiful aspirations to better person-ness, (which really are just attempts to assuage your guilt for not being better) hinder you from your goals. That's half-assing it.
Ideally, we'd all work tirelessly towards the greater good (if there even is such a thing, because if there can never be a point where the world would be best for people for generations, then there is no point in trying, there is no perfection, there must be another point to life or maybe there is no point at all - which is a scary concept on many levels, a concept that the amoral possibly grasp before anyone else, but I digress flagrantly), but if we aren't/won't work(ing) towards that, then work hard towards fulfilling your desires in this world w/o the ethical roadblocks.
I'd say that the only caveat is that you should try not to hurt people too much because when people are hurt to the point where the pain inflicted becomes a defining characteristic, they (rightfully) become obstacles to progress that can be very very hard to overcome. On your way to becoming better, or better at not fooling yourself into thinking you care a lot about being better, you don't want to have to deal with people you could have avoiding hurting so bad that they become an avoidable, immovable hindrance. Hurt can be good but I'm talking about reckless hurt. I think you should try to avoid that.)
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